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The Church Is Changing: The Rise of The “Dones”

Written by Steve on December 18, 2014

The Church Is Changing: The Rise of The “Dones”

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A lot of focus and attention has been given to that rising demographic of millennials known as the nones.  Young people who have no religious affiliation whatsoever.

But there is another demographic that is growing in the Christian community that I believe will ultimately create a seismic shift in the way that the church expresses itself.

It’s the Dones!

Long time faithful church attendees who are simply done with attending church.

In a recent article on the subject author Thom Schultz describes an all to common, and growing, example of a “done”:

John is every pastor’s dream member. He’s a life-long believer, well-studied in the Bible, gives generously and leads others passionately.

But last year he dropped out of church. He didn’t switch to the other church down the road. He dropped out completely. His departure wasn’t the result of an ugly encounter with a staff person or another member. It wasn’t triggered by any single event.

John had come to a long-considered, thoughtful decision. He said, “I’m just done. I’m done with church.”

Thom Schultz: The Rise of the Dones

 

Previously,  people who stopped going to church often did so as the result of a bad experience;

* sexual misconduct

* leadership abuse

* church split

* financial mismanagement 

But it’s a different story with the dones. 

They’re just tired.

I quit

After 20 or 30 years of:

* Sunday meetings

* Prayer meetings

* Men’s / Woman’s meetings

* Home Group meetings

* Leadership meetings

…they are just…done!

The Dones are fatigued with the Sunday routine of plop, pray and pay. They want to play. They want to participate. But they feel spurned at every turn.

Thom Schultz: The Rise of the Dones

Many church leaders respond to these challenges by trying to spruce things up in their churches with new activities and a fresh direction.  But this is really just rearranging the deck chairs on a ship taking on water.  Most Dones have been involved with so many new church activities, visions, and directions that they are all but immune to yet another incarnation.

“So Steve, as someone who loves the church what do you see happening?”

At this point I don’t have a great answer to what the future holds.  What I do know is that the church will survive, and grow...

…but it’s going to look a little different.  Let me suggest one direction I see us going…

“Network”  Church Becomes “Cable” Church

Before there was cable TV we all watched the same television shows.  There were 3 network channels (ABC, NBC, CBS) and despite any personal preferences, if you wanted to watch TV, you pretty much were forced to watch it in the same way as every other person.  A certain show came on one time a week, and if you missed it, well, you tried to catch up next week.

Not unlike church today.

TV_Logos

Everyone wishing to participate in church today is made to do so in pretty much the same expression as everyone else.

* Sunday morning

* Praise / worship

* Announcements

* Teaching / Sermon

The church in many ways is a lot like network TV.   You might pick up something a little different by changing the channel (or church) but by and large,  you are all watching the same show.  ( “watching” being the operative word)

But now there is cable TV, on demand TV, Netflix etc.  There are TV shows, heck, there are whole channels that are geared to reaching a certain interest, demographic, hobby.  People can still watch Two and a Half Men or the latest incarnation of CSI on network TV if they like but if they are into history, there is the History Channel.  If they enjoy cooking, there are cooking channels.  If they enjoy travel, there is The Travel Channel or Discovery Channel filled with the adventures of people exploring the world, its food, and its cultures.

There are game show channels, movie channels, news channels, exercise channels; you get the picture!

…and if you miss your favorite program?  Well, you can stream or download it at your leisure.

And here’s the thing.  Network TV hasn’t gone away.  In fact, these new cable channels have made those traditional network channels better than ever as they have seen there are new and better ways of telling stories.

Conclusion

I am part of a small group that meets twice a month called Bread & Wine. We gather together as friends over food and wine to discuss our faith, struggles, questions, and doubts.  In many ways its a lot like a cable station.  Some people will find it interesting, others will “channel surf” right past it.   Just this week I had someone who visited it admit to me it “just wasn’t their kind of thing” while another person told me how much they needed the gathering as part of their Christian faith.

And that is where the expressions of church are heading.  From a traditional Sunday morning based gathering to a much more diverse and custom fitted expression that incorporates ingredients that will help grow our faith in ways much more specifically.

It’s not that “Sunday morning” is going away any time soon.  Much like “network TV” has survived in the community at large, the “regular” church will continue to be a mainstay of the Christian community.  And the growth of alternative Christian expressions will likely help the Sunday morning service become more impactful and meaningful in the future.

But the church IS changing …

Peace,

Steve

15 comments

  • I’m one of the “dones!” I didn’t know we had a title. I have no beef with anyone at the church and there wasn’t a specific reason I stopped going. I kept telling myself I needed to “get more involved” but when I thought about what that would mean I just wasn’t inspired to do it. The idea left me tired. Sunday morning sermons were like a “how to have a better family” self-help audio book. I would like to find some community in Ann Arbor, MI but definitely not a traditional church. I’d rather we spent our time doing good works or discussing real life (not intellectual pontification or theological debates). Great post Steve!

    • Steve

      December 18, 2014

      Thanks Darcy!

  • Blair

    December 20, 2014

    You really think that’s the real reason, Steve? Other than the most die hard traditionalists most of us think the format is a bore. But do you really believe that having a greater diversity of expressions will solve the problem? The de-churched (or out-of-church Christians, or any number of other titles) have been a phenomenon for 25 years and much has been discussed and written about the problem. In that time we’ve seen the rise of the emerging movement with a plethora of diverse formats and variables. But, judging by the Thom Shultz article, it doesn’t seem to have stemmed the tide.

    My sense is that we lost the substance and are left grasping at the shadow.

    • Steve

      December 20, 2014

      I agree boredom is why most “dones” leave or go to Sunday infrequently. Thom Schultz seems to want to stem the flow from the present system. I don’t really share that same concern. Personally I think a lot of the diverse variables and formats you mentioned were never really that diverse to be begin with. Most are just rearranging the furniture. What is considered “church” will change a fair bit in the next 50 years.

  • Innocent N. Justice

    December 25, 2014

    I think the main issue with the “Dones” is not that the church is irrelevant! The problem with the “Dones” is that they sought religion than seeking a personal relationship with Jesus Christ! How can we explain the decline of churches in North America and Europe while churches are growing fast in South/Central America and Africa? Whatever we can do if our faith is not deeply rooted in relationship with Jesus Christ and be guided by the Holy Spirit, we will get tired and get done with any Christian gathering! Historically, Christians gathered together as a community and among them there were some who were set apart for different ministries! Getting done with church is more of spiritual problem than it’s with church’s irrelevance! My latest sermon about ten virgins is a good illustration of the done population.

    • Steve

      December 25, 2014

      Thanks for the comment. I don’t think the issue is that the church is irrelevant, but what is “church” and what can be considered “church”. Many people I know that have left traditional Sunday morning gatherings are closer in their relationship with Jesus now than before. They often choose to express their togetherness with other believers differently. I think we will be seeing more of this

      • Innocent N. Justice

        December 26, 2014

        I know that there are many home-based churches. I am absolutely not against those churches if some people choose so doing! By church, I meant local churches, which have traditional or contemporary services! There is no doubt that there are churches, which are declining and churches that are growing! The rise of home based churches is obvious! What I argued against was the so called “Dones” who simply quit community gatherings all together. Wise churches are focusing on home-based small groups where their disciples can learn and grow together!

        • Steve

          December 26, 2014

          I think the “home church” idea is fine for people who want to do that but I am suggesting there will be expressions of church beyond just a “house church” vs. “traditional church” model. Most “Dones” that I have met don’t really have anything against a “house church” but most house churches I know follow a similar format to a larger service. A few songs, prayer, someone teaching… sure there may be more exchange because of the more intimate surrounding…but its basically more of the same. Some Christians will love it…some won’t.

          • Innocent

            December 27, 2014

            Steve, most of the “Dones” keep their memberships with their local churches for big events of their lives & after life. I am talking about weddings and funerals. The challenges with home based churches are that they may not have well trained teachers, which may lead them far from orthodox teaching. There are reasons that Bible Colleges and Seminaries train those who are set apart to teach and lead congregations! I don’t think that many home based churches can afford to support their professional pastors.

  • Murray McKaska

    July 29, 2017

    When my wife and I became empty-nesters a few years ago we began to prepare for our future. We downsized our home, and we assessed all the time and money commitments in our life. Over the years we had become terribly over-extended and it was the perfect time to close that chapter and begin a brand new one. So we resigned from all civic and volunteer positions, including everything ‘church’. We only have one weekly volunteer commitment on our schedule now, which we do together, and it’s wonderful. We made the healthiest choice for our lives and we couldn’t be happier as we rediscover our relationship as husband and wife, and recently as grandparents!

    • Steve

      July 31, 2017

      Fantastic Murray! I wish you and your wife all the best in your new found freedom and fresh season of life!

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